Always Chase the Light

Besides gratitude, one of the biggest lessons I learned in China was about my ego, about accepting non negotiable things I have when it comes to my own happiness✨ The particular camp we were scheduled to work at was one that was completely unexpected (I haven’t posted any pictures). It was an environment that made me feel trapped, isolated and with a lack of freedom. These things were no one’s fault, they were not intentional. They were simply cultural differences, variances in ways of life🌎 But I learned that just because something is from a different culture and I want to do my best to understand, respect and accept different ways of life, they will not always align with me, and that’s okay. I was trying with all my might to stay and teach in an environment that was not conducive to my well being, just so I could say I did it. So I didn’t have to explain why I was leaving, so I didn’t feel like I was giving up🌻 These are all struggles I have always battled: perfectionism, fear of failure, belief that choosing yourself first means giving up instead of showing courage. But I had to reframe my perspective, understand that it is okay to choose myself. That if I know I’m not happy and will not be, it is okay, it is wise to make a change. And it is best for everyone if I do💫 Best for me, best for those whose energy is influenced by my own, and even best for the children. Because I want to be myself for the kids, for the world. I want them to have a role model who is inspired, excited about life, goofy, uninhibited, and if I can’t be those sides of me, if I can acknowledge my unhappiness and leave the situation, it’s not giving up, it’s choosing me, choosing my purpose of spreading light and it’s okay to do that. It’s okay, it’s good to recognize when you feel you’re not shining your light and bring yourself back to the spaces that help you shine it. That’s what we’re here to do⛰🦁🐞🍄☀️🌈

Finding Freedom at Home

Going to China made me realize how I’ve been to some wonderful places in my travels🌎 Places that have opened my eyes to new ways of life I wanted to adopt, brought color to my vision of the world, gave me options of life I didn’t know I could live out. Travel always had me dreaming of leaving. Dreaming of where to go next, where to leave home for. China was the first experience I had with really missing home. China had its beautiful places. Its people, its temples, its gardens, its historical boats that had me dreaming of cruising down the Li River and China is also the biggest culture shock I’ve experienced yet. It expanded my mind in different ways than other countries have. Not of ways to live by, but in ways that made me grateful for how I don’t live, and for ways I do live in my home country. Like I said, the first experience that made me ache for home, that made me feel lucky to be where I’m from🏡But it is everything I needed✨ I needed to feel the gratitude for the country I call home. I needed to realize the intangible things we often take for granted. We all live differently in this world and I’ve always said that seeing the world through another culture is the best way to learn. It seems that this summer, my lesson was to learn to have more gratitude for what I was born into at home. I’m so grateful to have the freedom to go about life as I choose. To express that freedom physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I’m sitting at home, not taking off on a plane, or driving thousands of miles trying to find the ends of the earth, and I’ve never felt freer🌕💫🌻🌼